In short
- Give instructions about moments and positions, not reasons or history.
- Choose one trusted person to be the contact on the day, so our team has one voice to follow.
- Decide who must appear, who is optional, and who should not be featured in public versions.
- Plan the seating, the family photos and the speeches so that no one is put on the spot.
You can brief a videographer well without sharing family history. Give instructions about moments, people and positions, name one trusted contact for the day, and agree which versions of the film each person may appear in.
The backstory stays with you. We need to know what you want filmed, what you want avoided and who to ask.
What does a videographer actually need to know?
Four things, and none of them is a reason.
- Who must appear: the people the film cannot be without, by role. For example, “both sets of parents” or “my grandmother”.
- Who is optional: people who may appear if they happen to be in a scene.
- What to avoid: a person, a table or a moment you do not want featured, stated plainly.
- Who to ask: one contact who can make a decision on the day.
If a sensitive instruction is needed, keep it short. “Please do not feature this person” is clear and complete.
How do you write instructions without the history?
Use the same format for every line: a moment or person, then what to do. This is an illustrative example sheet.
| Moment or person | Instruction |
|---|---|
| Family photo, my father’s side | Take as a separate group, first |
| Family photo, my mother’s side | Take as a separate group, second |
| Head table | Wide shots only |
| Speeches | Record in full, but keep this speaker out of the highlight film |
| Reception seating | Film the couple’s table and the cake table closely, other tables wide |
Each row says what to do, not why. You can add or change rows as plans change.
Who should be the contact person?
Pick someone calm, whom the couple trusts and who is not busy with another job. A planner, a sibling or a close friend usually fits better than a parent.
Give us their name and number before the day. If something unexpected happens, our team asks this one person. That prevents conflicting instructions from different relatives, and spares the couple from deciding in the middle of the celebration.
How do you plan the family photos?
Family photos are where tension shows up most. A written shot list takes away the need to decide in front of everyone.
List each grouping, in order, with names or roles. Couples often take groups separately, then combine them if everyone is comfortable. Tell the photographer and the videographer the same list, and share it with a family member who can gather the right people.
If you are unsure which groupings to include, the must-capture moments checklist helps you decide what the film must hold. For grandparents and parents in particular, see keeping parents and grandparents present in the wedding film.
What about speeches, seating and toasts?
Plan speeches in advance: who speaks, in what order and who introduces them. A calm MC keeps the order steady.
For seating, ask the venue or planner how tables are arranged. You can choose to film the couple’s table closely and the other tables wide, without drawing attention to anyone. The run-sheet planner helps you list these cues.
How do you manage the versions of the film?
You may want one version for the whole family and another for sharing online. Decide in advance who may appear in each. A family version can be complete. A public version can be selective.
The private and public version planner helps you plan this. The responsibilities checklist lists who decides what. Ask us to list the versions in your quote, so everyone knows what is delivered.
What if something goes wrong on the day?
Tell us your contact person’s name, and agree a calm response beforehand. We can step away, film something else, or keep the camera low and respectful. We settle with you in advance whether a tense moment stays out of every version.
If a moment turns out to be private, tell us afterwards and we will talk through leaving it out of the versions you share.
What we confirm for your event
- How we handle instructions like “do not feature this person”.
- Who your contact person speaks to on the day.
- Which moments stay out of the highlight film and any public version.
- How we work through a family photo list with several groups.
- What we need from you before the day, and what can wait.
For the wider picture, see wedding videography and the other decisions in the weddings guide hub.
Your family history stays yours. Tell us who must be in the film, who should not be featured, and who on the day can answer questions. Send the date and venue and we will check what is possible.
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